A little Grey's wisdom

Disclaimer : this is a ramble of a person who has been annoyed many times. she's unreasonable. judgemental. and thinks far too highly of herself. But she has a bad headache, an aching leg and wants to ramble. so deal.

As Brett would know, lately I have had a few issues. You see I suppose you could say I set reasonably high standards of others. I expect people to act in a generally moral and care-for-others type way. Its hard to explain how I see the world, but one thing that is easy to describe is that people fail it/me. All the time. And it gets to me. I mean really gets to me in the whole SJ-is-upset way (thankfully brett and caitlin are the only unfortunate people to have witnessed this irrational state).

I just wish people would relise bitchy comments are unnecessary. Snarkiness is a quality no one desires and its like a stab wound when people, to whom I have offered alot of time, niceness and sacrifice for, alllow their stresses and pain to come out in a horrible way towards me. Snide off- hand comments bug me. Big time... they eat at my happiness.
Same with not being fair. I have an unreasonable expectation that the world plays by the same fair rules as in my head. People are nice, they do things for others even when it bothers them, they think of how their actions affect others and refuse to do things that could be hurtful. They dont form cliques or purposely try and leave someone out. They stick to their word and stand up for people when required. Is this too much to ask?

I know the worlds not perfect and people fail. I know the faults I see in others are those I that I dislike myself. BUT sometimes, every once I want to be selfish and pretend I am perfect and everyone around me fails. Espeacially when I am stressed. I want it all to be about me.

And unfortunately I have been verging on sick for a while. Ive been busy, worked hard and tired. So its been all about me a bit to much and SJ's internal monologue has been running at full steam. And its unhappy.

And thats where the TV comes in.

As most of my friends know I love stories. I love reading book, watching movies, hearing patients tell me their life and most of all I love watching characters week after week in my many favourite TV programs.
One of these programs happens to be Greys Anatomy (it really is brilliant for all those doctors out there who complain its not like real life - understand ITS NOT ABOUT THE MEDICINE ITS ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIPS so please stop making me feel dumb for watching, and enjoying, it *blush*)

SO anywho back to it. On greys anatamoy a while back one of the characters was hurt, frustrted, pushed and generally just damm pissed that the people around her hadn't lived up to the standards she took for granted (in fact I have many things in common with this character...but that can be another time) And when the guy that had done this to her needed her, she came back and helped him out. Saying "that's what Jesus would freaking do!". I love it.

So if u see me grit my teeth, scowl and help you out; give me a bone. Im trying to be more like Jesus.