out of the clouds - and man the sun is shining!

well finally it's all over - holidays are here!!! the past 12 weeks have been a whirl but have thankfully come to an end and a bit of a break. just to reccount on the past.....

anaesthetics was fun, but so not nice being away from my love for two weeks!!!! we survived.... just ;). orthopaedics was likewise awesome, filled with lots of skiving off early to study, some fun surgery ( i was on the spinal team - scrubbed in to spinal surgery :) yeehaaa!!) and some sad moments ( i was on the spinal team - many paralysed people :( ) but i learnt a bucket load and i guess thats what its al about...
12 weeks ago i started studying, and there endeth my free time! we had two exams; that recap the entire year of teaching and hospital placements - there was a whole lot to go through! but they were manageable some good hard work and im sure i passed.... :S!!!! best of all - they're over! out of my hands so no worries now :). Just had my first weekend off in ten and it was lovely... a nice sleep in, buying three little fishes (still alive on day 2, keen to see how long this lasts!), setting up the christmas decorations, bit of family time and friends, church and sleeeeep. man what a way to relax :). I now have december off to my own devices (thanks to my wonderful husband who wants me to NOT work !) and then january for 10 days in paihia and 2 weeks at mount maunganui woohooo!!!!!!!looking good.
next year is exciting too...16 weeks in total of obstetrics (babies) paedeatrics (babies and kids) and neonatal ICU (tiny babies) as my highlights :). oh to be done with babies of my own!!! but for now i will steal everyone elses mwahahaha.

speaking of that said wonderful person.... brett was made redundant in the midst of the last 10 weeks, as the company he was working for is shutting down. good things come at wierd times - this job he has been wanting to quit for the last year so this was a fantastic force to do so :). he now is working for RCP, after a week of much needed break, a project management consultancy that runs high class projects from the beginning (on the to do list is the eden park stadium, middlemore hospital, med school and mount eden prision) so he has a lot to learn, and thankfully therefore a lot of stimulation. he says the workplace seems to be really great, the pay rise was tidy and appreciated, so we are definately looking forward to better things coming.... so stoked for him to have this job !!! and it came so easily to him as well so that was fantastic.
speaking of fantastic, brett also managed to get top in his qualification so well done to my smart cookie :).
no such a smart cookie, but a very happy one - he brought himself his desired 600cc motorbike. the pride of joy of one half the marriage... the hated vechile of death for the other half (guess who?) heehee

other things that have worked themselves out...opa is so thankfully back home and pottering in the garden. slower than usual but moving around none the less. after 3 calls to his bedside to say good bye, my poor dad finally came home with the good news that opa was doing ok. a quick revisit to the hospital was needed (he missed all his friends you see :P) but that was that. thank you God. We're so hugely grateful for the spare time we have with him.... and hope it continues for alot longer.

mum had her operation the day before i went on study leave.... it was a seemy success- the doctors were happy they got the troubled spot but found other messes in her heart.. we're hoping for this to be the end of it, but there may still be a need for a pacemaker. but we know what we're dealing with, she's now able to shop for an hour or two (yay for me!!!) and plans are in place if needed so we're happy as larry :).

so this leaves me with christmas on the way, time off, a happy husband, healthy family and great friends. lots of activities to look forward to, awesome holidays, and lots of free time to potter as i wish. life is good.

so for those that have been taking the back foot... im finally back in the world of the living!!! would love to hear from you and plan a catch up. hope your all well, slowly tanning and enjoying you time.

lots of love and all my best thoughts.... and remember

its still a beautiful world........

.......thank you God :)

ergh

Well, sorry to everyone for the lack of contact, particularly those who've had a birthday recently, or whom I promised contact and fell short. But i have a good excuse.... really!

Life's been a bit of a mess at the moment. Im not complaining, many things are still going fantastically Im just having my patience and tolerance tested a tad.

For the past 2 years my mum has been having heart palpiations and a bit of trouble trying to sort out what has been causing them. 4 weeks ago when my holidays were on she went to hospital for 4 days as she had a bad spell and they wanted to figure out exactly what the problem was. They did thank goodness - atrial flutter, and have stuck her on medication and in approx 4 weeks she will have an operation - cardiac alblation, (burning the bit in her heart that is bad) or if that doesn't work she'll get a pacemaker chucked in. Oh to have a mum that isn't stuffed! We're all, espeacially her, looking forward to fixing this out seeing as her ability to exercise and feel good will sky rocket up. Since that last stint she's been in hospital twice again as its gotten bad. A tad stressful.

Last sunday my dads father (opa) had a massive heart attack and was in ICU in new plymouth. This was a massive shock as he has been previously fit and healthy, but sudden cardiac death does run in his family. So after hearing the news we quickly jumped in the car and drove down (big ups to brett), spent the night there and the monday, then drove back up as I was in my second week of lectures and couldnt afford to miss more than a day. It was a huge blessing to have seen him, and he has managed to hang on long enough to see the rest of the family. My dad has been down there for the last week but mum had to come back cause she felt so poor. The outlook is poor for opa, but he has bet expectations big time so far so here's hoping... So that has been a touch more stressful.

So to top it off Ive been having days filled with 6 hours of full on lectures, broken up by an hour of sitting in the sun eating catching up wtih friends. This has been tiring, and brought us day by day closer to our exams. 6 weeks and 4 days to go until the big ones......medicine in 2 3hour lectures - should be a blast!!! Fortunately i started studying in the holidays so am not falling behind with my interrupted weekends.

And just to really stress all my aspects my poor husband is still working in a job he hates and has been full on completing his assignments for this final semester of his qualification. Oh what fun it is to balance a full time job and full time study! Poor guy.

So yeah.... hope that is reason for you all as to why ive been so slack with contact. I have been thinking about you but my brain is such a jumble its normally while driving home from uni or the hospital, therefore fleeing my mind as soon as i have to concentrate on honking at the dork that cant drive in front of me. heehee.

Now Im off to Hamiltron for two weeks to do my anaesthetics run. Looking forward to a timetable to work, study, run, sleep, work, study, run, sleep.... you get the picture!! Just me and me to concern about. And miss my husband miserably...

On the ups we had a lecture that was cancelled allowing me to grab bretts sisters and go for a walk in the awesome sunshine we have been having (yay for fantastic weather!!!! im actually getting tanned!!!) and means one less in the exam! (it all adds up). Ive managed to exercise heaps and am enjoying the effects. Im married to a fantastic husband who makes me laugh everyday and comforts me when i cry and has a wonderful family who support us and always care about whats going on. I can look forward to a wonderful christmas where my mum can actually manage to go walking with me and hopefully see less worries and stress for my poor daddy. And life just has a habit of all falling into place - with thanks to our awesome God, who has answered so many prayers and pulled me through unscathed.

Wow am I lucky :)

And i do appreciate my friends!!! HONEST! Can't promise anything in the next 8 weeks, but december ill do everything i can to get hold of you. Mmmkay. Hope your all well and thriving along.

Lots of love

me :)

me...for now!

well i figure i have been on here long enough to finally give an update as it seem a few of u don't know what im up to at the moment.

so....

beginning of this year i got married to brett, he's my high school sweetheart *blush*. hahahha. nah but really, its been fantastic, married life is awesome. its amazing how much absolute fun you can have living with someone else and knowing that they're goin to be with u forever :). im hugely lucky.

honeymooning on the sunny sands of the gold coast was a great way to kick start out flat out lives and provided an awesome, invaluable opportunity with absolutely no requirements or commitments for 7 days. absolute bliss. and word for the wise - dont save renting a car and goin to the mountain villages for the last day - way better than theme parks and shopping!!!

so continuing on the lucky front - i managed to graduate from my first 3 years of med school! so now that i have that behind me im doin my clinical years (actually goin to a hospital :O) and am absolutely loving it. its a fantastic feeling to feel as though you were made exactly to be doing what you are! medicine is a fantastic work place as its challenging, teaches u bucket loads, is full of fun interesting people, and to match my 5-year-old aspirations - ive already managed to make a difference in at least one persons life. Well that's the life goal achieved... now to enjoy the ride!! oh and i shall.....

however being what it is it keeps me well occupied. but its great to be spending so much time learning things that are actually important.... as opposed to the biological cycle of Na+!! whipped my way through GP, emergency, general hospital medicine and surgery so far. am now pulling my emotional heart strings in psychiatry and thoroughly enjoying myself. not looking forward to the impending exams tho ...... everything is quite a lot to learn! heehee

naturally with the whole marriage thing brett and i moved out to our own place. after owning a house just before our wedding, we realised the amount of interest u pay on a morgatage is far more than rent so for now we are living in some one elses place, enjoying their financial and up keep burden :P. its a fantastic house - its stands alone, has a garage (yay for brett and the 3 motorbikes we now own!) and a nice garden and even some fenced off lawn (here comes the puppy!). newly re-decorated on the inside its clean and pretty. So its really quite perfect. Brett and i were hugely blessed and managed to furnish the entire thing with only buying a few antiques cause we liked them and whiteware (brand new thanks to the immense stress of pre-xmas house) thanks to our fantastic families and wedding/engagement gifts. its a dutch house (i rule the roost :P) so the motto is 'stop by, the coffee is always hot!' so text for our address, and if we're home we'd love to catch up with you!

our families are healthy and well. hating the fact we aren't with them everyday but enjoying seeing them as much as possible - a couple of times a week each at least. brett and i realise more and more how precious our families are to us and feel so hugely blessed to be surrounded by such great family, with whom which we have our closest friends and confidents and manage to drink endless cups of tea.
friends have all paired off which is nice, makes for an easy get together. feeling like old fogies having pot luck dinners with all our married friends on regular occaisions tho! as everyone gets busy doing their own things it does get harder and harder to keep contact though, but i have found that the increased effort really rewards only you so its by far worth it. im hugely sorry to those who i dont manage to catch up with as often as i should (or at all). excuses dont cut it. in particular, natalie if your reading this drive over now and drag me out - i think every day - must go and catch up wtih her tonight or tomorrow, but as usual i get side tracked. force me!!! im dying to chat properly and actually establish regular contact. we haven't been so good at that hey.

so the future plans......

have fun :). pass my exams without killing brett during the stressful progress. if brett has found a new job (or quit his current one) we'll try and whisk ourselves off to South Africa during december, but if that isnt' goin to work out....next year again it is. summer holidays to paihia and mount for 3 or so weeks. next year back to hit the ground running at med school. hopefully brett will be settled in a job he loves that pays him what he deserves. perhaps if im ultra lucky the bikes will be gone and a new car for me (mine is dying the mechanic told me today, slowly but surely). then in the future..... graduation, specialisation intermingled with overseas travel (EUROPE!!!!!! and a xmas in new york) brett setting up a buisness, me finishing my formal teaching, the ever anticipated children.... and an exciting life whereever we end up.
in short....

im happy.

and i hope u are too!

What I've learnt from my fantastic oppurtunity

People are funny things. They think that whatever is happening to them is the most of it all.

Everyone you talk to is unbelievably busy.
Everyone is sick.
Everyone doesn't have enough money.
Everyone has the saddest story, then funniest story, the most romantic story.

Subsequently everyone is tired and disillusioned.

Maybe, just maybe, the dying man is busier. He has so much to complete before leaving this world, so many goodbyes, so many questions. He just needs more time to get better. He's probably sicker, seeing as he is dying. He definately doesnt have enough money, otherwise he'd be in the private hospital or paying for a lung transplant in equador. His story is really sad; he's dying. His other story is so funny, because it makes people in unbelievable pain still laugh. His story is heart-touchingly romantic becuase his wife sits beside his bed for 21 days, holding his hand, smiling and telling him all she can to distract him from his pain, not showing any weakness but walking out with tears in his eyes.

But he still has the time to thank you and tell you that you've made his day better. He is still polite, friendly, appreciative and accomodating. He wants to help people out and apologises for being so much trouble. He cant stop saying how happy he has been. (and he's not on morphine).

Maybe something is to be learnt from people at their finest moment.
Life isnt all about you. Everyone else is worse off.
Be thankfull...

....its still a beautiful world

The Hours

"Someone has to die so that the others can value their lives"

Being holidays I hire a few light hearted movies to have playing while I'm at home so that the silence doesn't eat away at me while being alone.
So anyhow I decided to get out the movie The Hours , seemed to be a bit of something interesting.

It was heavy.
But also excellent.
Thought provoking.
But definately is not for all.

The above quote is from the climax of the movie, just after the man dying a painfully slow death of AIDs tips sideways, out of a 6th story windowsill. He doesnt survive (obviously).

Based on Virginia Woolf's book 'Mrs Dalloway', and two women (one reading and one living the story) one simply watches a day in their lives unfold.
It's slow, is not obvious in what it is saying (when is Woolf ever?!) but it speaks silently the lives of so many (women espeacially) living life in a horrible empty pain, which in itself is a scary thought.

So if you want to understand what goes unsoken this is definately worth the time. But be warned - this is a bunt cake when you're expecting a sponge.

A little Grey's wisdom

Disclaimer : this is a ramble of a person who has been annoyed many times. she's unreasonable. judgemental. and thinks far too highly of herself. But she has a bad headache, an aching leg and wants to ramble. so deal.

As Brett would know, lately I have had a few issues. You see I suppose you could say I set reasonably high standards of others. I expect people to act in a generally moral and care-for-others type way. Its hard to explain how I see the world, but one thing that is easy to describe is that people fail it/me. All the time. And it gets to me. I mean really gets to me in the whole SJ-is-upset way (thankfully brett and caitlin are the only unfortunate people to have witnessed this irrational state).

I just wish people would relise bitchy comments are unnecessary. Snarkiness is a quality no one desires and its like a stab wound when people, to whom I have offered alot of time, niceness and sacrifice for, alllow their stresses and pain to come out in a horrible way towards me. Snide off- hand comments bug me. Big time... they eat at my happiness.
Same with not being fair. I have an unreasonable expectation that the world plays by the same fair rules as in my head. People are nice, they do things for others even when it bothers them, they think of how their actions affect others and refuse to do things that could be hurtful. They dont form cliques or purposely try and leave someone out. They stick to their word and stand up for people when required. Is this too much to ask?

I know the worlds not perfect and people fail. I know the faults I see in others are those I that I dislike myself. BUT sometimes, every once I want to be selfish and pretend I am perfect and everyone around me fails. Espeacially when I am stressed. I want it all to be about me.

And unfortunately I have been verging on sick for a while. Ive been busy, worked hard and tired. So its been all about me a bit to much and SJ's internal monologue has been running at full steam. And its unhappy.

And thats where the TV comes in.

As most of my friends know I love stories. I love reading book, watching movies, hearing patients tell me their life and most of all I love watching characters week after week in my many favourite TV programs.
One of these programs happens to be Greys Anatomy (it really is brilliant for all those doctors out there who complain its not like real life - understand ITS NOT ABOUT THE MEDICINE ITS ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIPS so please stop making me feel dumb for watching, and enjoying, it *blush*)

SO anywho back to it. On greys anatamoy a while back one of the characters was hurt, frustrted, pushed and generally just damm pissed that the people around her hadn't lived up to the standards she took for granted (in fact I have many things in common with this character...but that can be another time) And when the guy that had done this to her needed her, she came back and helped him out. Saying "that's what Jesus would freaking do!". I love it.

So if u see me grit my teeth, scowl and help you out; give me a bone. Im trying to be more like Jesus.

Looking their best

The Hoogies

The Pietersens

Brett and my immediate family

Parents, siblings, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins.

(unfortunately quite a few missing)

Where Im from...

Yay holidays have begun!!

After 14 weeks of no time out I'm looking forward to getting through the wad of things that have accumulated in the 'when I have time pile'.
Unfortunately, sitting here I'm feeling a tad overwhelmed - too much to sift through.
SO I'll just avoid it all.
Classic med student procrastination - one thing I've been taught well over the past years.

A good way to procrastinate - catch up with people (ie the reason behind this blog).

First - a few recent (therefore wedding) photos of our wonderful family.